Dysfunctionings (random thoughts contd.)

This is again related to dysfunctional psychology, only this time, it’s thoughts multiple personality disorder. I’ve always taken for granted that every person has an identity, some essence to define them by. It was only when I thought about this in greater detail that I noticed how baseless this assumption was. Take someone with multiple personality disorder for instance- that person would truly think they have more than one identity; does this not make them human? Or does this make them more than one human? Someone with no clear idea of their identity could well not be considered human at all by this assumption. Obviously this is not possible. But then what is it that distinguishes us from animals if not the fact that we are able to identify ourselves? I guess this could just revert back to the question of what exactly makes ones identity. Is it dependant on your thoughts or emotions, your memories, or is identity merely physical and bodily? Some even go to say that one’s identity is defined by what society views them as, which may seem crazy at first glance, but when you think about it, it’s often found that we do distinguish ourselves a lot by what others see us as. Now that I think about it, I’m wondering whether an identity is necessary at all, considering I can’t even define what this “identity” consists of…

Dysfunctionings

In psychology class, we have been studying dysfunctional psychology. We talk a lot about disorders like schizophrenia that involve severe hallucinations. I was thinking about this when I realized that schizophrenics experience reality in a completely different way from the way we do. What constitutes of their reality? What we think is reality is what happens to us in everyday life, and what we experience firsthand, out thoughts, emotions etc. but is this truly realty in its essence? An old Chinese saying (Chuang Tzu) goes as follows:

“I dreamed I was a butterfly, flitting around in the sky; then I awoke. Now I wonder: Am I a man who dreamt of being a butterfly, or am I a butterfly dreaming that I am a man?”

This just re-instates how reality is only probable, and can’t really be proved. As humans, who need a basis, we believe what we want to believe, and create our own realities so that we have some sort of security. For all we know, this would well be a dream that we could wake up from any moment. I wonder if people suffering from schizophrenia are able to experience life in a fuller manner, as they create their own reality differently, and obviously have more realities than us. This could possibly allow them to live in two or more worlds that could even be completely detached from one another. The use of drugs too, is self-induction of a reality, which is not actually the truth but can be eye-openers to life. I have heard about how people have produced some of their best works under the influence of drugs. Medically, this is not a reality, however it leads to a production of what could become a part of one’s reality. How do you distinguish?

I find it impossible to be able to judge what is truly real or not, because at some level, everything can be considered as constituents of reality and at another level, one can quite easily say that nothing is real.

:O

Whilst reading a book, a song started playing on my laptop. It was called “time won’t let me go” by The Bravery. I began to think about this line, and realized that we are inhibited by time to quite an extent. We talk of being free individuals, but what we forget is that we are often limited by time itself n the form of our past and future. In other words, I guess we could say that we cannot be freed from ourselves. A lot of the decisions we make in our lives, the paths we choose, are dependent on our past. The past plays an influential role in making choices, even though sometimes we do not want it to. For instance, after having fallen from a horse when I was a child, I can’t choose to ride a horse even today, out of fear from my past, even though sometimes I feel like I want to try riding again. The future too acts similarly, disabling us from always acting spontaneously and living only in the present moment. For example, if I wanted to not attend first block, (ignoring school rules and attendance) I am free not o, however, in want of getting a good predicted grade at the end of term, which in turn would determine my future at university, I am forced to go to class. In this way, the future, or rather the fear of not having one, has successfully stopped me from making a free choice to not go to first block. It is extremely hard to make decisions without thinking about the past or the future, and to live completely n the moment itself.

As for me, I’m not even sure if living only in the present is what’s best for an individual. Granted, it would allow you to take risks and behave more spontaneously than otherwise, but an entire life like this might end up being quite harmful, given that we live in a society where your actions have implications not only on yourself but on others as well.

Escapisms

Today I saw someone looking quite sad. Ten minutes later, I walked by him again and he seemed quite happy, but concentrating hard on his computer screen. I stole a glance at what he was doing and noticed that he was playing a video game, concentrating hard on shooting various targets.

It made me wonder- most of the things that make us happy are the ones that take us away giving us an escape from reality. Take playing video games for instance- people hide away in a virtual world where they can be who they want to be, with no pressure from society, behave the way they want to behave, kill who they want to kill, with absolutely no judgments. It’s as if you take on the identity of someone you want to be but can’t be in the real world, with none of your prevalent problems. But are these outlets of escapism really the way to solve ones problems? Does the momentary loss of your problem mean that’s its gone and you don’t need to worry about it anymore? Some people say that playing video games makes them forget about reality and when they are done playing, they feel a lot better without really addressing the problem, having already vented out their frustration. However, this is more suppression than problem solving. Still, it is common to see people who have been through a lot hiding themselves in video games, making realties which appeal more to them than their present state of affairs. Similarly, whilst listening to music or watching a movie, we are able to hide away in a song or story, where a reality is created for us. This reality is one we want, or something we relate to but are unable to express (which is expressed for us through the movie or song) and hence we enjoy doing these things.

In the end, a lot of the things we do for enjoyment are in fact ways for us to escape from pressing issues, enabling us to find an alternative happiness.

Empty ideas?

“….It’s the thought that counts”
“No. what’s the point of having the thought if you can’t execute it?”

I was sitting with a bunch of people when I heard two of my friends have this conversation. In my head, this brought up the question of the value of ideas and thoughts. I’ve often heard sayings like “an idea can change the world” or something on those lines. But are ideas of any worth if they are not made known? For an idea to “change the world” it needs to be put into practice, for no one would know about it if it were locked away in someone’s head. So which is more important- the thought or its manifestation?

An ideal argument would state that saying that without the thought, any sort of “starting point” would not exist. Then again, it can also be said that the purpose of this created “starting point” is nullified if the thought is kept within oneself with no visible output.

According to me, as great as it is to come up with original ideas and thoughts, acting upon ideas is somewhat necessary to make them more than just empty. I don’t mean that thoughts in themselves are always futile unless acted upon. Rather, the thought has more of an impact when it is executed, at least in the eyes of a viewer who is able to then concretely see its manifestation, in any form.

"we dont need no education"

I love Calvin and Hobbes. This one made me think.

Does knowledge just confuse you further, or does it enable you to act in better faith? Some people say that knowledge leads to complexities. Others say it makes life easier and it opens up more options to choose from. But I often wonder whether education as it is structured today is actually beneficial in the making of a holistic person. Do the things we study actually enable us to act or is knowledge ultimately paralyzing? I think that a lot of the times, the things we learn in school juts end up confusing us. For example, learning about ethics just makes one question themselves before acting. Not necessary a bad thing, however this might be taking one away from their basic instincts, forcing them to be someone they're not. It often seems as though education is a way of socially stratifying people, constructing ideas that might not always be true. ( but then, who really knows the truth?) Ultimately, I would assume that a basic level of education is necessary for someone to survive in society as it is today, but there is definitely a doubt in my mind as to whether ALL the knowledge we learn has a specific and useful purpose.

Hmm.

I’m back at MUWCI, and thanks to the recent turn of events, I’ve been thinking about relationships a lot. Maybe the reason people get into relationships in the first place is related to their personal identity. Being in a relationship enhances a sense of identity in both people part of that relationship- basically, it just makes both people feel better and more important about themselves. The pleasure one gets out of being with someone else is due to the fact that the person is given a stronger sense of identity and happiness, which is what that are in search for. When it comes down to it, relationships are purely selfish means to feel happy. The satisfaction one gets from another person providing them with a sense of completion is what allows one to be happy in a relationship. Why do people end relationships? After a point, when one of the people in a relationship is not satisfied, and they are made to feel a lack rather than a fulfillment, they feel the need to pull out of this relationship, in search of something else that would make them feel whole again. Break-ups hurt, because you’re left feeling empty, and the sense of identity that you once had is now gone, leaving you stranded and confused. At some level, I think it’s sad that another person can determine a part of your identity to such a great extent, however, if we didn’t allow people to become a part of us to a certain extent, then wouldn’t we just end us as stone walled loners?

This may seem a bit curt, but I see this happening all the time- it annoys me.

Bbay

Wow. I haven’t written for quite a while.

It’s project week at MUWCI, and at the moment I’m back home in Bombay. Last night, I went out with a bunch of my friends, and I realized how image-conscious they were. I guess after coming to MUWCI, I’d forgotten how the minds of people here in Bombay work. It seemed to me as though all they cared about was how they appeared in public, even if it meant walking around in heels that would probably be the cause of a two day foot ache. What’s weird was that, all these friends of mine, as I know them, are truly amazing people. But when it comes to going to a “fancy place” for dinner, they lose all their personal identity, as if transforming into these bodies that are identified only by the outside world. Last night, I questioned what makes up ones identity- whether it was what people view you as, your own personality, or a mixture of both. Or maybe it is something deeper- a soul? The existence of a soul is a whole other aspect that could be looked into. But last night, this concept barely crossed my mind- I more thought about why it mattered so much what people who barely know you thought about you, and even if it did, what exactly did this mean in terms on oneself? I can’t really come to a conclusion at the moment about this- but when I figure out what I think of identity itself, I’ll surely write some more about it. Right now, I’m still surprised with the extent that image seems to matter here at home.